Eureka! — Forgiveness


forgiveness

 

Forgiveness is a tough nut sometimes. How do we simply forgive someone who has gone out of their way to intentionally hurt or cause physical harm?

When it comes to me I can just let things go and move on with relative ease as to not do so is in fact causing me more harm which plays into the one causing the pain’s hands. But when it comes to family and friends then I find it almost impossible to forgive, in fact the very dark aspects of me come to the surface. Someone who hurts those I love gets the worst of me.

Mo wrote about the ‘harm ye none’ rede on his blog and it helped clarify my thinking as I have been struggling with this. If we take the rede literally then we cannot protect ourselves or those we love. I do not see any problem with casting a curse to protect our loved ones and ourselves providing it is done without anger so we can think it through.

Forgiveness does not mean there should be no retribution. Forgiveness is not about letting someone else off the hook for their deeds. Forgiveness is about releasing ourselves and/or those we love from the negativity being directed at us. It allows us to move on in our lives in a more positive way, whether it allows the person causing the negativity to do so is neither here nor there and frankly that is not our problem.

 

Love and light

Jeremy

 

Prompt from The Pagan Insights Project

Eureka! – post about something new that you have learned, or discovered recently, that is related to your path or Paganism in general.

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3 comments on “Eureka! — Forgiveness

  1. for me it is a question of who is interfering in who’s life? The term “curse” has become so fetishized that it is has become hard to think about reasonably. Plus which magic is not an object, it is also a relationship. It’s unfortunate that some people can take the idea of cursing and turn it into an ego gratification thing (“I’m a big, hard Pagan etc”) to bolster a weak identity. Even more unfortunate is the acceptability of magical manipulation for some people (big eeewwww there). On the other hand, some people are over sensitive to the possibility of doing harm. Conflict is not always bad or harmful, and it is certainly not always avoidable.

    I think we have to maintain our boundaries, and we have to protect ourselves (and our homes, loved ones etc) at times. We have also to not interfere in other people’s lives, as much as possible, and expect the same in return. But even there, there are complicated scenarios.

    And then we have to seek fulfillment in a world that isn’t “fair” or necessarily enlightened. I’m in two minds as to the usefulness of the term “curse” due to the confusion around the term. If someone wants to mess with me then resisting that isn’t really a curse to me (unless we get more nuances and gradations into the word). Pushing back is not a crime; it is not making a negative relationship, it is resisting the imposition of one.

    The desire for revenge/retribution I would think of as indicating issues to be dealt with internally (it’s not something that I am free from myself), and I think that also gets complicated by judgement, which is a quality that shuts down consciousness (as contrasted with discriminating awareness say).

    Forgiveness is a hard one, but I do believe it is a potentially transformative practice. I really agree, it’s purpose is to transform *your* life, but that transforms everything you have relationship with. But that doesn’t mean that people who have wronged you need to be any part of your life, forgiven or not. That has to be your free choice, and “no” is a perfectly acceptable answer.

    Thanks for sharing Jeremy.

    • Curse is a cover all really, to me it is sending back what is being thrown and only at the person throwing. It is complicated by the popular and often negative conceptions of dark witchery in as much it is seen as doing something not nice or evil. No it is not nice being put in the situation where to issue curses or hexes is the only option left. It is not nice to do and I hate myself when I do it but when it comes to protecting my loved ones all that does not matter. It is not weakness to defend self or the ones we love.

      Yes you are right it is about interference in someone’s life more often than not. Let’s face it that goes on all the time often unnoticed because it is done in kindness but it is when that interference is not kind and is in fact harmful we notice it. I would say this is where witches have to be careful in how they interfere in the lives of others. We all do it probably on a daily basis just by sending out acts of love to those we care about but have we really thought it through and is it what is needed?

      Forgiving is more often than not thought of as an act granted to someone else and while we may forgive a person for what they have done it is not about them it is about letting ourselves move on. Holding grudges is not healthy, it such a negative thing to do that it has the potential to destroy the self. ‘I forgive you’ is not saying what you did is ok but it is saying ‘I am not going to let your deeds drag me down to your level.’

      Thanks Mo x

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